Heathcliff and How to Live a Happy Life

This is less travelogue and more philosophy. I expect to recover and get back to describing life in France soon.

I am not a cat-person or a dog-person. I describe myself as an elephant/ tiger/ dolphin person, large mammals that do not qualify as household pets. I have long held that God made cats and dogs solely for experimentation, and their value lies in their service to us as lab animals, testing not only drugs but also shampoo and make-up. That said, let me expound/ expand on Heathcliff, the orange striped cat who shares our home in Valbonne.

Heathcliff was described by my otherwise generous land-lady, Annie, as "wily, cunning and evil, with an ability to charm...he is a stray who will bite and scratch....the previous tenant, who'd asked if the house was haunted, fed this cat who now expects to be fed if not loved...don't let him in.."

Heathcliff survived this negative propaganda by mewling outside the glass door in the kitchen that opens onto the lane, rue du Presbytere. He has since taught me several life lessons.

1. Persistence pays. Heathcliff did not mew once and give up. No, he mewed everyday, morning and evening, and behaved as if he had a right to be here, and that we were mere rent-paying tenants whereas he had squatter's rights.

2. Seize every opportunity. Heathcliff has the ability to be in two places at once. He manages to get into the house when either the front or kitchen door is ajar even for a second.

3.Thicken your skin. Heathcliff knew well that he wasn't welcome, but he wasn't about to be sensitive and have his feelings hurt. He wanted in, he got in.

4. Forgive the ignorant. Heathcliff does not hold grudges. He readily and freely forgave us for inhospitality and rudeness without our asking. Indeed, he went so far as to rub his head against our legs, purring as he did so to tell us that we were friends, even if not feline, and that he would accept any food we had to offer. This was communicated non-verbally by standing in front of the refrigerator.

5. Accept cold milk if warm is not offered. Jeroen began to share 2% milk with Heathcliff. Heathcliff has his own shallow dish. No milk split so far. Heathcliff often waits for the milk to come to room temperature. If we had a microwave, I'm sure Jeroen would warm up the milk.

6. Fear shadows? This is something Heathcliff demonstrates. Jeroen will tease, yes, tease, by letting the shadow of his hands approach H. Fingers twitching in a V-shape are particularly delicious. H will pounce on them. Heathcliff will strike at his own shadow. This has taught me that all our desires and fears are but shadows that will vanish when the lights are off (or when the sun shines directly overhead, take your pick). Buddhism 101.

7. Prefer simple toys. Heathcliff is happy to jump on crumpled paper. I made two balls of paper, sorry Jeroen, those were the receipts you're looking for. Heathcliff had a blast. Two balls on the field would make soccer and football players less aggressive. Can't speak for rugby.
H ran from one ball to the other, entertained himself for half an hour, which beats the time a new, more expensive toy would captivate my children.

8. Expand your territory. H runs up stairs to hide under my bed on the fourth level. H has to be chased down with a broom, which makes me look and behave more and more like a witch. Halloween is close, now to knit a black hat.

9. Cozy up. Heathcliff jumps up and sits on my lap while I work on the computer, purring away. He does the same to Jeroen. I am now permitted to stroke him, gently, no sudden moves please. So far so good.

10. Discourage familiarity. After a half hour of cozying up, H will bite (me) or scratch (Jeroen) and jump off and leave. He might have heard the village gossip that we are planning to move in another week to Antibes. Is this his way of punishing us? He might  expect to be forced to move with us, clearly not something he wants. I have seen him emerge from a neighbor's cat door. Is H a player? Is he a stray? Does he own the house next door? H has mystique, a quality every cat and human should possess.

Was Annie right after all? Were we being used? So many questions....I shall ponder for a long time.

Meeouw from France.